Christmas (Part 1)

I am excited about Christmas this year. I haven’t been able to say that for a while. My desire for something different began a few years ago. I have felt something has been lost each year. They weren’t bad and the time with family and friends was always fun. I didn’t enjoy going through Christmas with Christ a part of my thoughts, I knew I needed to have Him as the center of all Christmas.

There was a moment this last summer that I officially decided to make a drastic change in my Christmas celebration for this year and from now on. I shared my thoughts in my Christmas in July post. The only thing I wasn’t too comfortable doing was breaking to my mom I didn’t want part the traditional stuff; because I knew it was important family time to her.

When I finally came to tell her she said she wanted to talk to the rest of the family because she was over the way we had been spending Christmas as well. Then she asked me what my thoughts were of helping others this Christmas. She wanted the rest of them to help too.

Well, this year we are doing Coats for Christmas. We are collecting from a few local churches and will distribute them at the local food kitchen here. I’m excited about the opportunity.

It all comes down to this. Christmas is meant to be a celebration of Christ’s birth. When I think of how we often celebrate birthdays I consider how we often bring a gift and spend time together. How do I bring a gift to Christ? I found my answer in Scripture.

“Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’”

(Matthew 25:37-40)

For those who are local to me and want to donate hoodies, sweatshirts, coats, sweaters, etc., please leave me a note here or send me a message on facebook. Thanks and Merry Christmas!

Campaign Trail (Part 2)

Campaigning is over and I’m glad. Election Day began with waking up at 5 AM and standing until the polls closed at a voting location. The locations became packed out well before voting opened. I was drained by the end of it. I had spent the previous days finishing door to door promotions and I now know this city better than ever before. We also had to relocate the majority of the promotional signs to the precincts the night before. My legs didn’t want to allow me to stand anymore by the close of Tuesday.

I did enjoy meeting other candidates of other positions and talking with people I had voted for. It’s encouraging to really enjoy the company of the people you vote for and it’s great to connect on a more personable level with those that you share values and issues with.

The funniest vote he got was from a woman that walked out and pointed to the sign my dad was holding and said she voted for her. My dad informed her he was Pat and the woman said, “What?! I was only voting for women!”

The results (3 positions to fill):
Pat Bentley…26.15% (4089 votes)
Stephany Eley…24.57 % (3842)
Bill Mettrick…26.44% (4134)
Damian Wilson…22.84% (3571)

Campaign Trail (Part 1)

Today was spent campaigning at an early voting spot. Tomorrow’s agenda looks the same and of course Tuesday will be a long day. I’m well aware of the record number of people voting this year, but today I observed American citizens pouring in to cast their votes. I vote absentee for every election so I don’t have to wait in the lines and I’ve never been so glad until today. I would place the average wait time just over three hours for those coming to the polls early. One voter informed us he had waited in line for four hours. Reminder, early voting has been open for a few days now and these are work days. I’m not sure what to expect tomorrow and Tuesday.

For those who don’t know my dad is running for city council, so I have been campaigning for a while. I’ve worked in previous years for campaign stuff as well. I hope my dad is happy that he at least got one of his children interested in political things like he is. Anyway, when you do these things you can expect to have people honk and cheer for your candidate and sometimes receive fingers and booing. City council is a smaller scale but people wave a lot for my dad’s signs because of the rep our council has on the news here and the desire to have someone new. It’s cool when people tell you they’ve studied up on him and he has their vote. I thought it was funny to get the thumbs down for the first time today from a driver. I don’t take things personally, but it was it dawned on me it was not just an issue or candidate that I was for…it was my dad. He has a hater! haha

You meet others out campaigning for different things and it can be fun even when you know the signs contradict. One lady today from a neighboring city apologized she was not able to vote for my dad since he was not running in her city. Within my mind I informed it was okay because I did not vote for the candidate she was promoting either, even though I did have the option as he was running for a higher position that includes my district.

Awkward moment of the day: I was stared down by some dude as he rode by in the back of a cop car. It was caged in but the window was open. He was actually leaning forward in the seat with his face against the caging as he slowly rode by me.

A Joyous Journey

The following is a poem my cousin wrote for our grandma and read at her funeral. The words are so very fitting for Grandma.

A Joyous Journey
Kerri Bree, October 18, 2008

In honor of Ruth DeHaven

A woman of true virtue

is who I remember you to be…

Faithful and sincere

with a great love for the Lord,

Devoted to your husband

for nearly fifty years.

A loving and caring mother,

all six I know would say,

A bounty of both grandchildren and

great-grandchildren, with a glorious legacy.

Kingdom-minded

I know you were indeed,

Thank you for caring

about where I’d spend eternity.

Singing and praises

constantly on your lips,

Thanksgiving and joy

overflowing from your heart.

A joyous journey

truly your life has been,

To know the love of Christ

and be satisfied in Him.

The Lord has now called you home,

forever with Him to be.

I count it joy and not loss,

for I know this is not the last of you I’ll see.

A Letter to Grandma

Dear Grandma,

We celebrated your life today. The funeral home was packed with people who love you. The services were beautiful and only admiration was spoken of the life you lived here. After seventeen years we laid your body in the earth beside Grandpa’s. It was beautiful out. The sun was warm and the air was cool. Colorful leaves are beginning to blanket the grass. It was the perfect time of year for you.

Thank you for all that you have been. Thank you for putting God first in all you did. Our lives are a product of yours. There was never a day in my life that I doubted your walk with God. I didn’t know until today that you had had a heart for underprivileged young girls and had spent a portion of your young ministry working with them. It’s a passion I share. I want to invest my life in underprivileged urban youth. I will.

We will miss you and will long to be with you again, but we are glad these last years have closed for you. We know they were with reason, but they were long and it was hard to see you fade from us over the time. We are happy you are with Jesus and Grandpa now. See you soon.

Love,
Rebekah (Becky)

Life's Worth

It’s been a long journey with my grandma's Alzheimer’s. I remember picking her up for church back in high school when we were becoming concerned for her and didn’t feel comfortable with her driving. I remember flying up north with her for a cousin’s wedding. Her memory was already failing her in so many obvious and sad ways that were only heightened as she was removed from her daily environment, but sitting a seat behind her on the flight I listened to her proudly talk to another passenger about us family and the wedding she was headed to. I remember my mom and her siblings talking about the need of putting her in an assisted living facility and it wasn’t going to work out for her to stay in Melbourne, and being relieved that she was actually going to one in Clearwater shortly before I would be starting college in that area. Eight years have passed since that move and they have been filled hard to comprehend moments as her mind has distanced her from us. The biggest question of course has been, “Why God?” Some patients go quicker than others, but it’s hard to understand the reasoning in someone living so long after the mind appears so useless. I would visit and just hope she somehow knew I was there, but while I looked at her physical face she seemed so absent. These last years, I couldn’t help but pray after every visit, “God, please take her home.” It’s different than an individual suffering from other diseases. I don’t believe the pain of other situations is easier, but I can understand purposes that can still be fulfilled on this earth. I’ve always believed attitude is everything and it can be a strong testimony to others as one endures suffering. It’s hard to understand how their testimony can live through them when they can’t communicate it any longer. It’s hard to walk in and watch my grandma fidget in an agitated manner without being able to fill my own head with possible “wills of God” for her state. It hit me after my last visit. I was headed up to Indiana for this summer and with the uncertainty of plans for after that point I didn’t know if I’d be back down to see her again. I finally realized I don’t have to know the answer because I know there IS an answer. I know Who holds it and I know only One needs to hold it. Maybe the answer is simply in the rest of us being able to live out that understanding-God is my answer. The answer may be in the family’s testimony or may be any other number of things, but what I no longer think knowing the answer is important in my life. What is important is being able to lean on my faith that nothing is without purpose. God does not waste lives or portions of lives. All is worth while.

I left Clearwater Saturday; her vitals remain stable although more than a week has passed since she had any nourishment. Hospice tells us each patient is different; it all depends on her heart. My mind was with her Sunday while I sang at church.

There is none like You
No one else can touch my heart like You do
I could search for all eternity long and find
There is none like You

I understand this song describes how nothing else can compare to God in our lives, but truth of that found a new meaning in my state of mind. “No one else can touch my heart like You do.” The remaining hours of my grandma’s life ride on the strength of her heart. Nothing can touch her heart like the Source of life. “I could search for all eternity long and find there is none like You.” She has God within her, however poor her quality of life has been (by our human minds’ standards) these past years, there is nothing more in this world that can give her life greater meaning. Put aside all the questioning, her life in this moment holds just as much value in Him as my own. Because of God’s sovereignty I can trust that fact.

Grandma's Last Days

The call came this past Saturday evening. Shortly after, my mom could barely relay the message to me that my grandma was in her last days. She had quit eating and was now nonresponsive. It’s been a slow decline over several years and the call was simply a matter of time, but it was still hard watching my mom handle the initial rush of emotion that was only to be expected in this next step. I have never been an emotional person, so I always just try my best to be a supportive person.

I did have a short moment of emotion. My breakdown happened at two in the morning and kind of surprised me as I laid in bed thinking about my grandma and memories. It’s so dumb, but it hit me that I was about to be the only redhead left in the family. How embarrassing to even post this. I think it was just something to do with the fact that it one thing I have from her that nobody else in this large family does. My breakdown lasted all of an approximate thirty seconds before I realized how ridiculous I was alone in my dark room at such a crazy hour. The best and most standout memory of my grandma, that I only can strive to make part of my own character, has been her overall closeness to God. When I think of her I picture her going throughout her daily happenings and humming different hymns that she cherished. It was something as natural to her as breathing.

The day after the call I made the trip with my mom across Florida and by Sunday afternoon we were at my grandma’s bedside at the assisted living facility in Clearwater. These last few days have been filled with obligations of preparatory work and with time in my grandma’s room. Not too many changes yet, just small evidences of decline. The hospice care just continues to remind us it can continue slowly or turn downward at any moment. Every person is different.

My mom has seemed okay for the most part. It’s good there are things to take care of. We were cleaning her things from her room yesterday with my cousin and so much of it was covered with dust. Out of nowhere the one sudden movement from my grandma was a loud sneeze. It made us laugh.

Today the worker from hospice told me the picture of my grandpa as a young soldier immediately made her think of me, because she noted where I had gotten my big brown eyes from. It meant so much because I was grandpa’s girl until the day he died years ago. I admire him so much and nobody has really told me that before. There have been times I’ve wished my eyes weren’t so big, but never again!

My mom and I decided we needed to put some music on for her today since hospice tells us she can still hear. Of course her choice would be hymns, but as I searched on her old radio I told her she was going have to settle with contemporary Christian. Shortly after my mom came back in Mercy Me’s “I Can Only Imagine” came on. (I believe it’s a great song, but the overplaying of it and its overkill in churches annoys me.) However, suddenly as the hospice worker excused herself and my mom found her place at her mom’s side the song became ours in that moment. I glanced out that window and saw cars pass by as everyone went about their lives as we all do. My eyes moved back to our quiet room. Her hours are dwindling in this world, but I am excited that what our earthly minds can only imagine she is about to realize.

My sister made it in tonight after her determined drive from Virginia. Everyone that is going to try to see her one last time has been here. We now wait for God’s time.

She’s my last grandparent and I grew up with her always being nearby, but I’m ready for God to have her with Him now.

Back in FL

Football season has begun. I was on the road Friday and Saturday and was stuck listening to the Gator game on the radio rather than watching it on TV. I was actually driving back down to Florida. I don’t think I have seen a Florida license plate since I left here in June. It may sound like a dumb, obvious observation since I was up north, but with Florida being such a tourist spot there are constantly drivers from all over the place here. Anyway, it was good to see other Florida plates again, and other Gator fans. I knew when I left my hotel Saturday morning I was rolling dice on hitting football traffic. Of course, the smart thing would have been to leave earlier, but I opted to sleep in a little. As I listened to the game on the radio I kept calculating the approximate time left and the miles I had to go. I knew I was in trouble when I saw the sign for 20 miles to Gainesville and the clock was winding down. I was fortunate as I passed through; the fans were just beginning to pour out on the roads. I wasn’t slowed down, but I was surrounded in a swamp of Gator fans. Never mind the Florida plates I had not seen all summer, I was now surrounded by FL Gator plates, flags and other car gear. Of course, my little car fit in with its blue paint and Gator plate frame.

So, now I am back in Florida, still praying something will work out soon. It’ll all happen as it is supposed to. It’s not easy to trust that, but one has to through faith.

I got to go to Merritt Island yesterday to watch my second cousin’s baseball game. His younger brother, Jonathan is even more of a baseball enthusiast. His mom was telling me that every Ray’s game that is on he is stationed with his glove in front of the TV to run the plays. Their dad is the Chaplain for the Devil Rays, and baseball was always his sport as he grew up in Miami. After the game the team was having a meeting in the outfield. Meanwhile, Jonathan was playing a full-blown imaginary game on the field. He would race to first. He was so accurate I was sucked into watching as if it were for real. Under the park lights his eyes shifted back and forth between the pitcher and batter as he played with the idea of stealing second. After another hit he began rounding the bases and watched his invisible ball being played in the outfield so he would know exactly how far to run. My favorite was his homerun hit. His mouth dropped in excitement and he trotted around the bases. I love watching kids when their imaginations are activated. It was especially crazy to me as I watched him and I could remember holding him as a newborn at my high school graduation. Seven years later there we were on that baseball field under bright lights and the warm Florida night.

The Lake House

This past weekend my aunt and uncle came in town. I hadn’t seen them since they moved from Clearwater shortly after my college graduation, so I was glad to see them. Sunday I left with them and my cousins to go up to a lake house. We spent the next few days just having fun in the sun. We had boats, tubes, jet skis and schedule free days. We enjoyed grilled out meals out on one of the decks. Hawaiian sausage, barbeque chicken, corn on the cob, fruit with cream cheese dip, pasta salad and so much more filled us up each day. The girls watched a movie each evening while the guys were out fishing. At night after everyone was asleep in the house I liked to go outside and just sit on the steps leading to the dock surrounded by the quite night sky and still waters. The moon was not quite full but it was beautiful. The top deck of the house was like being in a tree house engulfed in the branches and leaves. It was a good time and a great opportunity to just relax and play. My only regret was that I forgot to take my camera so I am left with no pictures.